Struggling to find the motivation to work out and eat right? Today, I’m sharing my biggest tips for sustainable motivation and willpower! Knowing all the best strategies won’t make any difference without taking action to improve your health and fitness. Let’s look for that sweet spot of motivation and discipline so you enjoy taking action!I share some of the biggest bugbears to motivation, including connecting to one’s life purpose and getting into cycles of self-judgment. Learning the skills of discipline and willpower is the antidote! I explain the key mindset shifts needed to break difficult habits, how that prepares you to master anything, and how to create nourishing habits instead. One way to stay healthy, look great, and feel energized is strength training! When you feel good in your body and mind, it's easier to make healthy, disciplined decisions. For the times when mustering up the energy for that workout is just too hard to find, I share journal prompts that can help reconnect you to your why. Practicing self-love deepens your wellspring so that you can harness the power of sustainable motivation!Ready for a great night’s sleep? Try Beam’s best-selling Dream Powder and get up to 40% off for a limited time. Visit shopbeam.com/HOLLYP and use code HOLLYP at checkout.You can get FREE access to my 4-week Strength Without Stress program right now! Thisprogram will help you reduce the systemic inflammation that’s caused by overly intense orlengthy workouts. It’ll help you build and maintain valuable lean muscle withoutthe fatigue from other programsTo get free access to Strength Without Stress, post a Review wherever you’re listening. Grab ascreenshot of your review before you post it and upload at: https://www.hollyperkins.com/reviewThis is a limited-time offer before it sells for $197–grab it while you can for lifetime access.Be sure to Follow and Subscribe so you'll know exactly when new episodes are available onTuesdays.Topics coveredThe viscous cycle of self-judgment when motivation is hard to find Why a strong life purpose improves your healthDifference between motivation, desire, and willpowerLearning the practice of delaying gratificationHow to get honest about hard-to-break habitsThe link between strength training and motivationJournal prompts for connecting to your way and cultivating self-loveResources MentionedResearch on the link between life purpose and mortality Research about willpower and self-controlTranscripts can be found on the official blog page for this episode at hollyperkins.com/blogFollow Me:Find me on Instagram: @hollyperkinsLearn more on my website: hollyperkins.comConnect with me on Facebook: facebook.com/HollyPerkinsFitnessDisclaimer: Content and information as part of The Holly Perkins Health Podcast is for general interest, education, and entertainment purposes only. The use of information on this podcast or materials or products linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. The content of this podcast is not intended to be a...
Struggling to find the motivation to work out and eat right? Today, I’m sharing my biggest tips for sustainable motivation and willpower! Knowing all the best strategies won’t make any difference without taking action to improve your health and fitness. Let’s look for that sweet spot of motivation and discipline so you enjoy taking action!
I share some of the biggest bugbears to motivation, including connecting to one’s life purpose and getting into cycles of self-judgment. Learning the skills of discipline and willpower is the antidote! I explain the key mindset shifts needed to break difficult habits, how that prepares you to master anything, and how to create nourishing habits instead.
One way to stay healthy, look great, and feel energized is strength training! When you feel good in your body and mind, it's easier to make healthy, disciplined decisions. For the times when mustering up the energy for that workout is just too hard to find, I share journal prompts that can help reconnect you to your why. Practicing self-love deepens your wellspring so that you can harness the power of sustainable motivation!
Ready for a great night’s sleep? Try Beam’s best-selling Dream Powder and get up to 40% off for a limited time. Visit shopbeam.com/HOLLYP and use code HOLLYP at checkout.
You can get FREE access to my 4-week Strength Without Stress program right now! This
program will help you reduce the systemic inflammation that’s caused by overly intense or
lengthy workouts. It’ll help you build and maintain valuable lean muscle without
the fatigue from other programs
To get free access to Strength Without Stress, post a Review wherever you’re listening. Grab a
screenshot of your review before you post it and upload at: https://www.hollyperkins.com/review
This is a limited-time offer before it sells for $197–grab it while you can for lifetime access.
Be sure to Follow and Subscribe so you'll know exactly when new episodes are available on
Tuesdays.
Topics covered
Resources Mentioned
Follow Me:
Find me on Instagram: @hollyperkins
Learn more on my website: hollyperkins.com
Connect with me on Facebook: facebook.com/HollyPerkinsFitness
Disclaimer: Content and information as part of The Holly Perkins Health Podcast is for general interest, education, and entertainment purposes only. The use of information on this podcast or materials or products linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. The content of this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
Holly Perkins 00:00
When you feel stuck along the journey to becoming more fit, it's important to assess if your plateau is because your workout isn't working, or if you aren't working. I have lots of episodes about the strategies to help you get better results from your efforts, but today I want to talk about the times when you're not sticking to the plan—when you're struggling to take action toward the things that you really want. If you want my secret to sustainable motivation, keep listening.
Holly Perkins 00:37
Hello and welcome! Thank you so much for being here. It is a gorgeous spring day in Pennsylvania, although it's quite a bit windy today, so if you hear that in the background, my apologies. But I was feeling so excited to have this conversation today, and so I said, you know, not going to let a little weather stop me. Welcome! If you are new to my community, I'm Holly Perkins, and I help women—mostly over 40—to improve their body composition to at least 70% lean muscle, so that you can reduce your risk of disease and stay in the game of life and out of the rocking chair.
Holly Perkins 01:21
So here on the Holly Perkins Health Podcast, I spend a ton of time talking about the science of becoming more muscle and less fat, and the strategies that you can use to get there. I talk a lot about the nuts and bolts, if you will. But there's something I don't talk about a lot that I believe really and truly is foundational to improving your health—really improving your happiness—but also it's the root of allowing you to get the things that you want in terms of your health, your fitness, your nutrition, all of your body-positive effort and goals.
Holly Perkins 02:01
And that thing that I don't talk about a lot is the bit about motivation, discipline, and that dirty word—willpower. And if you're struggling with the motivation to work out or to eat right, then the truth is, the best strategy in the world doesn't matter. Because in order to improve your health, your fitness, you've got to be taking action. When a client is struggling with the doing of the things—quote, unquote—showing up for workouts, preparing healthy food, actually lifting heavier during the workouts, most of the time what happens?
Holly Perkins 02:44
She blames herself for lacking the discipline or the willpower. And on the regular, she actually references her laziness—and that's a problem. Her desire to show up is there, but the follow-through isn't. And I think this is something that we can all relate to. I know—whew—this is an ongoing battle for me, for sure. Not sure that I've mastered it, but I definitely have cultivated some great skills. And here's how I would summarize it: You want to want to work out on those days, but you don't. We know what's best. I think most people want that—
Holly Perkins 03:30
drive and motivation and desire to show up and eat the broccoli or do the workout or whatever it is that's on your list to improve your health. And so therefore, a lot of times with my clients, what I see is the desire is there, but the motivation isn't. And so they go looking for motivation in all the wrong places. It becomes this vicious cycle of self-judgment. And the truth is that generally doesn't motivate anyone. So in this episode, you'll learn why self-love is a difficult concept, and it's the foundation to sustainable motivation and therefore lasting transformation.
Holly Perkins 04:22
You'll learn how strength training builds emotional and physical resilience, the truth about willpower and why it's really not enough to rely on, and some new practices that I generally don't do in my public-facing content like this podcast—but I do teach inside of my coaching programs—because this is the mindset piece that's got to get resolved. So I'm also going to be sharing some journaling prompts to help you reconnect with that inner drive. Imagine if staying consistent felt natural—not forced. And imagine if you actually wanted to show up for yourself instead of feeling like you should.
Holly Perkins 05:10
What would it be like if you found that sweet spot of motivation and discipline so that you actually enjoyed taking action? Wouldn't that be amazing? And the truth is, motivation is something that we all struggle with at times—everyone. And this episode reveals the secrets to help you take action even when you don't want to. Because, guess what? There's a science to this too. A study of nearly 7,000 people, published in JAMA—that's the Journal of the American Medical Association, one of the biggest, most respected journals that we use to reference—found that individuals with a stronger sense of purpose in life had a significantly lower risk of all-cause mortality.
Holly Perkins 06:01
Think about that. It makes a lot of sense, right? If you've got purpose in your life, it really tends to calm the demons that come in from time to time, right? So this study suggests that purposeful living may translate to health benefits. Listen, I know this, but it's helpful to have the research to support it. Having a strong sense of why and meaning behind what you do—in everything—improves your health. And your why behind wanting to be healthy, in general, is key and critical. It's everything. A big part of improving motivation and discipline is knowing your why.
Holly Perkins 06:48
Why is it important for you to be healthy? Have you ever really thought about that—like really, really? I've often said that I honor and respect a person's desire to eat right and exercise to look better. I think that's a legitimate, very valid motivation. And if right now I say to you, "Hey friend, what's your why for eating the broccoli? What's your why for showing up to the workout when you don't want to?"—I'll be honest with you—most of the time (and don't forget, I've got 30 years behind the coaching desk, working with people), most of the time—
Holly Perkins 07:30
the vanity metrics aren't going to override that exhaustion at the end of the day on a Tuesday when it's a rainy day in February and you're supposed to go to the gym. Wanting to look better tends to be a bit flimsy. And so again, I think it can be on your list, but it isn't going to be the thing that gets you off the couch. And here's what's really interesting: if your motivation is something that's far down the line—you want to age more gracefully, or you want to be able to run, jump, and play when you're 86 or 90—if that's far down the road for you,
Holly Perkins 08:09
we also know from research that if that goal is too far away, it's not a powerful enough motivator in the moment to override the instant gratification that we're wired for. And so, if you struggle with motivation or discipline or willpower, it's a lot more complex than you realize—and that is exactly what we're talking about today. And I've got some really good journal prompts coming up at the end of the episode to help you get clear on this first, because without your why, you'll continue looking for or waiting for motivation. And while motivation helps—and without a doubt, it's valuable—honestly, it's why I drink too much caffeine some days. Motivation is priceless.
Holly Perkins 09:04
The truth is, it's also fleeting. There will be times when you just aren't motivated to do the thing, and in fact, you might not be able to find that motivation for days. That's why this conversation is so important, because you've got to find other mechanisms that keep you taking action. A big problem is when you know what to do, but you don't do it. Then even worse—you judge yourself negatively for not having the discipline and the willpower. It's like, "I know I should go work out." You probably even want to go work out, but there's this other mysterious force that's blocking you. And that's when we get into the self-judgment, and that is the real problem.
Holly Perkins 09:52
Ultimately, this is so darn common. And listen, I am guilty of it myself. Most of the time, the topics that I talk about here are related to my own journey or my own struggles, because often what I've found is that other women are usually struggling with the same things I am. At least my message can usually reach someone. And I don't have this figured out either, but I do keep getting better at it. It's a process. It's about learning and being aware of it.
Holly Perkins 10:25
As they say, awareness is everything. It's really helpful to understand that motivation, willpower, and discipline are all very different. Motivation is the general desire or even willingness to actually do something. It's the end result of something deeper—meaning, it's the outlet of a belief that you have inside. It's the manifestation of your why. And so, if you're looking for motivation, the key is to really go back to that why, because then motivation springs forth—and it's unstoppable. Willpower is the control over your actions, exerted to actually do something, or even to refrain from something. It's your power over yourself, and it's something that you can learn and practice. And listen, this has gotten a dirty reputation out in the world, and I think that's a problem.
Holly Perkins 11:37
There is a contingency of people who feel that willpower and discipline are self-abuse, and it absolutely could be that. That's why it's really important for you to get clear on your why. Because I've always said—you can't hate yourself into better fitness. You can't judge yourself into being healthier. And so, discipline has gotten a bad rap. But the truth is, without discipline, life is going to be a lot harder. I really believe that discipline and willpower are simply skills. They are simply tools that you can use when you really learn how to use them effectively, and it's something you've got to have.
Holly Perkins 12:21
Discipline is very similar to willpower, but it really suggests the ability to override temptations because you have a code of ethics or an identity or a value system. And it really speaks to doing the hard things. To me, this is really the practice of delaying gratification, which I believe is the most powerful superpower skill that you can have. The ability to delay something that you want is masterful, and this is ultimately what it's about. Humans are designed by Mother Nature for instant gratification—it's a piece of our survival. I really believe that.
Holly Perkins 13:13
And so, first of all, instant gratification is innate. It's part of us. And as we are growing up, depending on what we learned or how we were parented, or how we were taught in school, most of us really struggle with delayed gratification. This was something I came to terms with and really wrestled with in my early 20s. And it's kind of funny, but I can remember the day crystal clear. I was probably about 22, and I knew that eating bread was really problematic for me. Now, at the time, I had some biology at play that was really a mess, and I knew that I wanted to take a break from eating bread, because I suspected it was a problem.
Holly Perkins 13:59
And I'll never forget, there was this delicious sandwich that I would buy at lunch near Columbus Circle in New York City. There was this incredible deli that I used to go to, and I wanted that sandwich so badly every single day. And the day that I tried to break this habit, I started crying. It was as if you were taking away my binky or my self-soothing tool as a little baby. It was so hard to deny myself of the thing that I really wanted, and it became a deep emotional exploration. And the day that I realized that, I was like, "Oh my gosh, this is just a stinking sandwich."
Holly Perkins 14:47
There are other, better foods that I could choose in order to be healthier and get what I ultimately want. And that is when everything changed. My message here is to take a good look at the habits that you can't break. What is your emotional connection, and what are the feelings and emotions that come up at the thought of giving up that thing? I have done an incredible job of breaking all of those things that I was once dependent on. Chocolate was a big one for many years. Sugar was a big one for many years. Alcohol for many years. Lemon pound cake for a lot of years.
Holly Perkins 15:33
And I'm proud to say now I can walk away from pretty much anything. But the habit and the dependency and the reliance that I still have on caffeine is my last crutch. And so someday, I will break it. But every day I'm thinking, "What is that emotional connection that I can't give it up?" And ultimately, it comes back to the instant gratification—the goodness that I get from my cup of caffeine, whether it's a coffee or a tea or something else. If you can confront the feelings that come up when you endeavor to exert discipline to do
Holly Perkins 16:18
the thing you don't want to do in any circumstance, or delay the gratification on something that you really want right now—if you can come to terms and crack this nut—you will be unstoppable in all areas of your life. I believe that cultivating healthy discipline is one of the best things that you can do for yourself. And it's very important to understand the problems with discipline and willpower, because you know what? It can be exhaustible, meaning you can only resist your desires for so long before that ability is depleted. And here's what's interesting: there are studies to support this. And for a number of years, it's called ego depletion, and there's a lot of different names for this construct.
Holly Perkins 17:14
For many, many years, there were a lot of experts—and there still are many—that believe this is a very legitimate aspect of the brain and behavior in your personality. Now, there are some experts that have debunked this idea. That all being said, whether it's true or not, I will tell you that in my practice as a coach and as a human, I believe it's absolutely true. If you are wanting the thing over and over and over for days on end, there's a really good chance that you're going to crack and cave to whatever that behavior is.
Holly Perkins 17:53
And if you're tired and hungry and stressed and depleted at the end of a tough day, and you want a bowl of ice cream, you tell me—what are the odds that you'll employ discipline and you'll eat the steamed broccoli? Some people will. Some people do. You do. Do it. Sometimes. We all do, right? And if what you really want is to never have to confront and put in this effort, there's other ways of working it. Because the odds aren't great that you will always be able to override the power of instant gratification. So really, the question becomes: What can you do to reduce the need for discipline and willpower?
Holly Perkins 18:42
One of the best things you can do is create habits, because a habit is something that doesn't require motivation or discipline or willpower. It's just something you do. It doesn't require any brain energy or any emotional reaction—you just do it. But here's a new angle, which I believe is the secret superpower: What would happen if you loved yourself so stinking much that you'd do anything in your best interest? What a concept, huh? And relatedly, for the things that you don't love about yourself, can you at least accept yourself for where you are? I know that self-love is a real hard concept for some people, and so to soften that and inch towards it...
Holly Perkins 19:42
Could we talk about accepting yourself? Can you just accept who you are and where you are on the journey? I think some women struggle so much with this idea of self-love, but they can get their head around learning to accept themselves—self, perceived flaws and all. Imagine if you truly, truly loved yourself. You dug yourself. You think you are the coolest thing. You know, there are people walking around out there that believe that. And what if you, therefore, wanted the best for yourself at all times, and your actions reflected that? That is an endless wellspring of motivation that does not require discipline or willpower.
Holly Perkins 20:38
Up next, you'll get my tips for building incredible resilience. But first, you want to know one of the biggest threats to motivation? Fatigue. So many women in my community struggle with stamina and having the energy that they want or need during the day. If you're wiped out at the end of the day, you'll need a lot more motivation and willpower to show up for your workout, right? And if your energy is good, not only will you show up for your workout, but you'll actually get a better workout. So another powerful thing that helps create this sustainable pool of motivation is physical resilience. If you feel strong and powerful and energized in your body, there is a good chance it will translate to your feeling strong and powerful emotionally.
Holly Perkins 21:39
For years, I've talked about an outside-in concept to personal strength. And this is helpful for those of us who really struggle with self-love, because the idea is that you can cultivate personal strength—emotional strength—through the building of physical strength. Outside in. And how do we build physical strength? Strength training, of course. Let me ask you this: If you can remember a time in your recent or even distant past when you felt good—you felt awesome, you felt good in your body, your energy was amazing, you were on fire—how was your mood? How was your confidence?
Holly Perkins 22:27
When you feel good and you feel strong in your body, it translates to who you are, how you feel about the world, and how you carry yourself. And conversely, what's your mood and confidence like when you know you've skipped a workout or ate the foods you said that you wouldn't eat, or you know aren't good for you, or you had too much caffeine, alcohol, or sugar? In a perfect world, you would love yourself anyway—absolutely, you would eat the five donuts and still love yourself just as much. But in practice, there aren't a lot of people walking around in a healthy way with that operating system. So this, again, really underscores the importance of your why, because a strong sense of meaning is the wellspring of motivation. If it's truly important to you to stay healthy for your loved ones in the years ahead, you'll do the things you need to do to be around as long as possible. Strength training improves your physical resilience, and that translates to emotional resilience.
Holly Perkins 23:49
So if you struggle with fatigue or even confidence, go after your strength training even more and prioritize it every single week. Because when you start to feel strong from your workouts, that strength will help you to say no to the things that you don't want to do, the things that you don't want to eat. Or it will empower you to do the things you don't want to do, because you'll feel strong and you'll have the capacity to employ willpower or discipline better.
Holly Perkins 24:26
And let's get real real here. All this being said, you might be thinking, "Okay, Holly, I get it. Strength training and eating broccoli will help me with motivation, discipline, and willpower." Of course, of course your life will be better. But what if I can't find the motivation, the discipline, and the willpower to show up for my workouts? There are times when you do all the things—you check in with your why, you check in with your meaning—and still it's like, "Nah, I'm sitting on the couch tonight and eating the ice cream," right? Ha. Now the conundrum. And this, my friend, is the nut that I cannot crack for you. No one can. This is the thing. You got to dig deep.
Holly Perkins 25:11
You got to find your skills and tools, and you've got to have your process for those moments. This is the hard part. So I've created some journal prompts for you that should help in those times. Now, if you're someone who doesn't have a practice of journaling, I cannot encourage it enough. It is a powerful practice that, again, has been proven through science to be super effective. And it can be very simple: grab a notebook or even just a pile of paper and an actual pen or pencil, and then set a timer for 10 minutes.
Holly Perkins 25:49
It's more effective to actually write on paper instead of typing into some kind of a mobile device. Close the door, light a candle, and just try your best to let go of any of the mental chatter or the need to journal correctly. Just follow along and do your best to answer some of the questions that I've included. You might find that one or two of these questions are particularly interesting or curious to you, and those are the ones that you want to start with. And you might find some are really hard to answer.
Holly Perkins 26:26
For those, I encourage you to just sit and ponder. Sit and think on them. Just get curious and see what comes up when you sit with those difficult questions. If you find yourself saying, "I don't know," it's a really good sign that you need to dig deeper. Be sure to save or bookmark this episode, because I realize right now you might not be able to write down these prompts or answer them. And make a mental note of the time stamp right now on this episode so that you can come back to it later if you're not able to take notes and do this practice now. So pause this episode right now. Make a mental note of the time stamp and come back when you can—when you're ready.
Holly Perkins 27:14
I want you to answer a few of these six journaling prompts.
Number one: Why is it important for me to be healthier? Why do I want to be stronger or more fit?
Number two: What would it be like if my goals were powered by purpose instead of by pressure?
Number three: What does it feel like when I truly love and trust myself and my body? And I want you to really describe that feeling in detail.
Number four: What movement feels supportive and empowering to me today—not what you should do, but what you want to do?
Number five: When I feel strong, how does that affect the rest of my life? How do I show up? How do I speak? And how do I move about my day?
And number six: What would it be like if exercise was a gift I give to myself, not a punishment?
Holly Perkins 28:23
Be sure to save this episode now so that you can revisit it later, and consider sharing it with a friend who needs to hear this message today. Remember, self-acceptance, discipline, and motivation are usually skills that people have to develop. Most of us didn't master these things in our youth, and our world isn't set up to teach us or to help us learn these things.
Holly Perkins 28:42
So just know that it's a practice that takes time. And I promise that if you start practicing these concepts, you'll almost immediately notice your wellspring getting bigger and deeper. And before you know it, you'll harness the secret to sustainable motivation. And how great will that feel? I hope you enjoyed this episode. And hey, don't forget—if you want access to my Four Week Strength Without Stress program for free, be sure to rate and review this episode right now. Grab a screenshot, and then you can upload it to me over at hollyperkins.com/review. That's my website. Just search hollyperkins.com and then add a forward slash review. You'll get immediate, lifetime access for free. And stay tuned for another brand new episode on Tuesday of next week. Stay strong, my friend. You.