Have you ever wondered why knowing what to do for your health and fitness doesn’t always translate into action? In this enlightening episode of The Holly Perkins Health Podcast, I sit down with Amber Krzys, a coach and teacher with a profound understanding of the psychology of human behavior. Together, we dive deep into the intricate relationship between our subconscious mind and our daily choices, particularly in the realms of womens health, weight loss, and overall wellness for women.
Have you ever wondered why knowing what to do for your health and fitness doesn’t always translate into action? In this enlightening episode of The Holly Perkins Health Podcast, I sit down with Amber Krzys, a coach and teacher with a profound understanding of the psychology of human behavior. Together, we dive deep into the intricate relationship between our subconscious mind and our daily choices, particularly in the realms of womens health, weight loss, and overall wellness for women.
Amber shares a powerful insight: “95% of our actions are driven by unconscious patterns formed in childhood.” This revelation opens up a critical discussion on why so many of us struggle to align our actions with our health knowledge. We explore the concept of urges and how they are intricately linked to our emotional states, emphasizing the need for self-compassion when navigating these challenges. This episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in women’s fitness and mental health, especially those of us who are women over 35.
As we discuss the upcoming School for Humaning Well, Amber emphasizes the importance of reconnecting with our innate wisdom. It’s not just about willpower; it’s about understanding our emotional landscapes and cultivating awareness of our feelings and sensations. This approach is particularly beneficial for midlife women, as it encourages a healthier relationship within yourself, and your choices, paving the way for effective fat loss and improved body composition.
Join us as we encourage you to embrace your experiences with curiosity and compassion. This episode is not just about learning; it’s about transforming your approach to health and fitness. If you’re seeking insights into mental health, and habits tailored for women, you won’t want to miss this conversation. Tune in and discover how understanding your inner workings can lead to profound changes in your life.
You can learn more about Amber and her programs here.
If you're interested in womens health, this is the podcast for you.
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Speaker #0 Amber, I am so excited about this episode. This is a bit of a departure for what I often talk about here on the podcast, and yet this topic has been such a tough nut for me to crack. It is so important, and it's something that so many of my clients struggle with. And I'm really excited to just dive into this concept around Why is it that we don't always do what we know we should do? And it shows up in my community as, I know that I should go to the gym, but they don't. Or I know I should eat broccoli, but they don't. Or I shouldn't skip a workout, but they do. And this concept of really working with yourself to take the actions that you want is huge. So I'm really excited. Thank you for being here. Please tell us a little bit about yourself. Speaker #1 Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me. I listened to your podcast. I love your podcast. I think that you have such a gift at clearly communicating and supporting people. How I talk about you, I'm like, she's like a super big research geek. And then you share it in a way that is so easy to digest and implement. So I just love being here. And I hope that this conversation that's really more pointing towards our psychology and even like our nervous system makeup, I think that will enhance certainly this conversation and the work that your clients and community do. And so for me, I would describe myself currently, I'm a coach, I'm a teacher. I I've always had an interest, a curiosity around why humans do what we do. And, you know, when I first started my business, this was back in 2009, I was supporting women in their relationship with their bodies. So it wasn't necessarily eat this, don't eat that, exercise this. It was more, what does it mean to be in relationship with this thing? You know, and then I quickly learned I didn't know how to make money. And then I started to learn how to do that. And I supported people and their businesses and partnerships. It's really sort of... grown. And the thing that has always been the glue is our inner workings. And so this idea of, you know, we as humans have equipment that we don't even know that we have, meaning our thoughts, our feelings, our body sensations, and then this other place of awareness. And that to me is really Like when you start to understand that. you really start to understand what drives you in life, because this is something I think that's really important. Our conscious mind is, we're only aware of 5% of, I would say, the strategies that we take. It's only conscious information that our mind has. 95% is in the subconscious, meaning it's unconscious. We aren't aware of it. And so oftentimes that's what's driving our actions and that was set back in early childhood. And so this is sort of moving in that direction in this conversation today, starting to peel that away. That's the work that I'm most interested in now. And I actually, I am leading a school. It's called the School for Humaning Well. It starts in January of next year. It's the first cohort. But when I look out at the world, I feel like humans have forgotten how to human well. or we were never taught how to human well. And so this understanding of thought, of feeling, of nervous system support, so we can have more compassion for our experience, so we can understand where our experience really comes from, I think that will change the world. Speaker #0 It will. And without a doubt, I often say in my community that when a woman feels good on all levels, physically, right, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, all of those things. I really believe that is when we go out and change the world. And through my channel of coaching, which is fitness and nutrition, really, that's my contribution. I really want to help women on the physical plane, in your physical body, really optimize that machinery. And what I love about this conversation with you, Amber, is the other half of the equation. which is that 95% that is out of our awareness. And when a woman can bring those two aspects of your being together, that is when you are unstoppable, either in your physical endeavors, your health endeavors, or all of your life endeavors. And you mentioned a couple of things that I think are super powerful. I want to take this to a couple of really specific examples that would be probably top of mind for people in my community and or what I see so common in my coaching community, which is my clients often know what they should or shouldn't do. It might be they know they should pair their protein with their carbohydrates. They know they shouldn't have that second
glass of wine. They're conscious of it. They're aware of it. There's a part of them that doesn't want to do the second glass of wine, but they do it anyway. And this is something that I personally have found is challenging to tackle and unravel. This is your area of expertise, so I'm so excited to talk about it. To layer on to that, so many women then, because they're conscious of it and they're aware of it, that's their 5%, they then go into feeling bad about their choice or guilt or shame later or the next day about the choice that they made. And I have forever been so interested in how can we help women work with that better so that they, in that moment, have the opportunity to have a a conversation with themselves says, okay. I'm feeling the urge to have another glass of wine. Is that what I really want to do? And how can I work with this? So I would love to hear a little more about how we can work with that, whether it's urges or how we're coping with other aspects of our life through some of these decisions. I think this is really powerful territory for people. Speaker #1 Agreed. Well, that's the thing. Urges, we can often feel powerless. Like I'll share a story from my own life. I went through a season of very restrictive eating and then I'd get to the end of the day and I would just binge. I still, I would say still at the end of the night, we'll meet the, oh, you were good today. You should have some sugar. You get to have some sugar. And then it's like a slippery slope into how much sugar, right? And so, so One of the things that I think is really helpful for this conversation, well, let me first say this. One of the things that complicates this conversation is what you were speaking to, which is the self-judgment. I'm bad. I shouldn't have done that. I've got to make up for this today, now, waking up tomorrow. This self-punishment, self-judgment, I should know better. And that, I'm hoping what I'm about to say will help to clear that from the container. Because whatever action that you take in the moment is the health of your system responding to what it knows best in the moment. So here's how it was explained to me once by my coach, which I really love. When we're starting to get sick, right? We're going in our lives, then symptoms present and the symptom is a sore throat. Well, the sore throat is actually the health, the intelligence of your system saying, I need rest. So I'm going to present this symptom so that you'll take care of me. Now, here's where it gets a little bit confusing because health to our system does not equal necessarily healthy choices. Health to our system. And when I say system, I'm specifically talking about the autonomic nervous system. So the autonomic nervous system. is how I like to describe it. It's the unconscious surveillance system. I meant to look this up today and I forgot you might know this information. Our system is taking in like, I don't know, billions of information per minute, but the mind, I should have you look this up or I'll send this to you. The mind can only take in like 40 bits per second. And yet there's millions of... bits of information that the system is taking in that we are not aware of. And that includes the nervous system, how I would describe it is it's a surveillance system. All it's looking for, am I safe? Am I not? It's been the animal brain in our survival that has kept us alive. And so how this applies now is... When you were, all of us, when we were younger and we had these imprints, for example, let's say that you grew up in a chaotic environment where there was a lot of unpredictability. Well, that unpredictability can actually feel safe to your system because it's what's familiar to you. So as an adult, the unconscious pattern that can be running is like creating chaos. I mean, I'm sure you've met people like that who always seem to have something going on that's unexpected. or another thing, you know, like you grew up in a household where anger was a very much a part of the the scene, then you will likely have an imprint that that's comfortable. And so you will look for that more volatility, right? Until we start to wake up. So let's tie this into what we're talking about here. What ultimately happens in our younger years is we're really present in the moment, responding to the now. And then we get flooded, we get overwhelmed with sensation, and we leave the body and go into the mind. And our little six-year-old left brain hemisphere that's starting to form who we are and what is safe and what isn't says, I will rescue you. Oh, those sensations are bad. You don't have to feel those. Here's how we handle that. So we are a culture
that has learned to rely on our intellect for survival. But when we are in a survival response in the body, we cannot outthink it. This is why so much of the time, behavior, we can't, behavior patterns rarely shift. an urge, right? If you have a regular urge that comes up, like for me, eating sugar in the evening, I could be like, I'm going to brush my teeth so that peppermint taste doesn't make me want to eat. I'm not going to stick to that, right? Or I could be like, let me put a note on my fridge so that I go for a walk or listen to a song and see if this urge goes away. Those are like strategies of the mind trying to take care of us. in this moment, but the real opportunity, and this is where I say it's like the health of the system, the urge is coming up because likely this is where when we live as a society that's head up, we're disconnected from our current experience. What I mean by that are like sensations in the body, emotions that we're feeling. We are often not aware of those, but our nervous system is. And so somewhere along the way, that urge, if it's the wine, if it's watching Netflix, if it's eating sugar, if it's skipping your workout, somehow along the way, you did that behavior once. And then the mind says, oh, that caused a lot of relaxation. That is how we respond when the system starts to get activated. We'll just do this thing and then that will resolve it. So that's where it's in the brain. There's a pathway that gets lit up that the intellect then says, oh, this feeling is starting to happen. So let's employ this strategy. But again, it's the feeling we aren't conscious of it. And because the mind is so, and really our nervous system is so dedicated to our survival, it can feel like we will die if we don't respond to that urge. Like that is how intense it can feel. So I've said a lot here. Tell me how it's like. Speaker #0 I so agree. And I talk about this quite a bit where it literally feels like I will die if I do not have the sugar. And that's how it feels emotionally, right? And I often talk about this with strength training too, where when a woman... considers, let's say, lifting a heavier weight, it feels scary on an emotional level, right? Yes. So I think this is so powerful. And so many women are completely unaware that this is operating. And as you said, which I think is so powerful, is a lot of times they try to manage this away through behavior. I'm just not going to eat the sugar. I'm going to eat chicken instead. and how a lot of times like behavior isn't going to... dismantle this. So I'm curious, how does willpower fit into this? Speaker #1 Yes. So willpower is the behavior approach. And like I just said earlier, we cannot outwill a survival strategy. It's too powerful. That system has been in place far longer than the humanity has been alive. And so this approach that we're moving into, doesn't require willpower. It does require curiosity. It does require willingness. Sometimes it requires patience. But the, see, the reason why I'm trying to give an understanding, I'll share a quick story. So I lead retreats, like private retreats for clients. They'll come and stay. I have a lovely guest house office space. They'll come and stay for four days. And the idea here is that they drop in, they unplug from their life. We're not looking at strategy. We're looking at what happens as they relax and their system relaxes. So more of that 95% that isn't conscious starts to reveal itself. But this is, I've only been doing that in my work, I would say in the last year. And the very first retreat that I ever led, I was super nervous. and that usually the person comes Thursday, we're together Friday, Saturday, and then they leave Sunday. And it was Friday night of the intensive. I had done, we were like halfway through. And I remember going inside. I was not conscious to feeling nervous. I was not conscious to feeling anxious. I was conscious of feeling tired. And so I was watching TV and then I just kept reaching for sugar. cookies. And I couldn't stop myself. And so I went to bed feeling a lot of shame and a lot of judgment. And then the next morning I was on a walk. And while I was on the walk, I was listening to a podcast. And the person said, behavior is a response to state of mind. And there was something in that moment that caused me to pause. And then it's like I was flooded with, oh, I was feeling anxious because how I've led intensives in the past has been very structured, right? Here's the outline. This is what we're going to do. And I'm not doing that now. I'm, I'm in a place of letting the client say, this is what I'm noticing. This is what's revealing. And so that's really different. Like one, one path prioritizes content. The other
prioritizes inspiration in the moment. And that was really new. And so how my system was trying to take care of me, I wasn't aware of it, right? I had this anxiety running. I had this nervousness running. I had this fear running that I wasn't present to. And so it was like reach for the sugar. The sugar is what will help you calm down. The sugar is what will help this go away. And so that's what I mean by it's from the consciousness level that I was at in that moment. Another way of saying that what I was aware of in that moment was I'm tired. okay, I'm just eating. But what was underneath that, that my system was aware of was all this activation and it was trying to take care of me. It was trying to soothe me in that moment. Does that make sense? Speaker #0 Yes. And without a doubt, and I can so relate, I know that in my early 20s, I really struggled with something very similar. And it was anytime I was in a social environment with people I didn't know that involved food, same thing. On a deep level, I was actually very nervous and feeling insecure and uncertain. And so I would just eat, eat, eat, eat. It was anything, just eat, eat, eat. And I would watch myself do it. And I'm like, I don't understand this. I'm not even hungry. And it was like years later, I was like, I just was so nervous in that social setting. And that's exactly it. I think probably a lot of people can relate to this because then you go home and you're like... you know, chastising yourself for overeating. Why did I eat? I wasn't even hungry. I don't even like egg rolls. Why did I eat four of them? And so I can so relate. And I know that so many women can. Here's my question. So in that moment, Amber, what did you learn when you were on the walk, when you had the aha and or what do we do with it next? Speaker #1 Well, the first thing is compassion, In that moment on the walk, instead of... right? The game of I'll be good today, right? And then layering out, these are how many calories I'm going to have. And this is what I'm going to have. Instead of playing that game, I could just see, I was like, oh, I was scared. Like my system was scared and it was doing what it knew how to do based on past behavior to try to take care of me. See, if you can start seeing your urges like that, It's like a five-year-old kid trying to take care of an adult. with the information that it has, right? So then that can help to alleviate the self-judgment because the self-judgment, the shame, the guilt, that starts to cloud the system. And so that's first and foremost, urges are the way that your system is trying to take care of you given the information and the state of consciousness that you are in that moment. Now, the next phase, that could... right? That can be enough to start to create some transformation because this no willpower approach is more of an insight-based learning. Because the thing is, once you see something differently, you tend to behave differently, right? You can't unsee it once you see it. And so this right here could be enough. Now, as far as the next step, what we've done as humans this is again, that 95% in the lurking in the unconscious, we have trained ourselves or our intellect has trained us to be like, these feelings are okay. These feelings aren't, and these ones are definitely not okay. And so part of what's involved, let's first talk about what is a feeling. A feeling And everyone can check this out for themselves. I'm not saying I'm an expert, but this is just from my own inquiry. There's sensations that happen in the body and there's sort of like a recipe of sensations, right? Like sadness might have a heaviness in the chest that might be across the board, a sensation. And then the mind comes in and says, oh, these ingredients equal sadness. These ingredients of sensations equal anxiety. These ingredients of sensation equal fear, right? So emotion, if we really, really start to break it down, it's just sensation in the body. And how I like to think of the body is it's a container of energy. Thought is energy. Feelings are energy. Body sensations are energy. and And it's looking to move energy, in particular, energy that's gotten stuck in our systems from our upbringing. So the next part of this conversation is really about starting to build safety within yourself so that you can start to turn towards and be curious about that urge, period. Now, usually... we're unconscious of it in the moment, right? We're, we're, we're not slowing down to be like, let me get into this right now. So sometimes it's after the fact, like I was talking about with what happened here with the client for me, um, we can start to do a review and unearth later. Another possibility
is, is in real time, right? So, so for example, in, let's say I get like Sugar Monster comes online in the evening time now. I can feel like, what does this urge feel like in my body? Oh, there's a tightness here. Oh, there's a fluttery there. Okay. Let me just keep leaning into that. Let me just keep leading into that. Now here's the thing that's wild in all of this. And look, you can lean into that. It can still feel really powerful and overpowering. And then you give in. We're not looking for a... Right. Perfection, gold stars. I didn't follow the urge. I'm better. That's not the game we're playing. The game we're playing is actually how I would describe it is like healing. It's restoring wholeness because that pattern, that coping strategy has kept you safe for a long time. So we're also not looking to be like, let me get rid of it as fast as I can. We're looking to welcome it with an open heart and be curious about it. Now, here's the thing. As you start to lean, this is my experience, and this is for everyone to test out, but it's like, as you start to train yourself to teach your body that you can handle. These sensations, they start to become less scary, and then it's much easier to not follow through on the urge. Now, this is what's amazing about that. The brain, and you know this, the brain system is about immediate reward. And so if you aren't following the strategy that it's asking you to follow through, if you aren't giving into that urge, you aren't reinforcing that habit. So that pathway starts to get smaller and smaller in your brain because there's no reward for it. And then it just goes away. There's no more of that urge. Speaker #0 So this is really the essence of neuroplasticity, right? And changing the way we link concepts or ideas or feelings or habits or experiences. Yes. Speaker #1 A hundred percent. Speaker #0 Yeah. And... With that, I started to think it's so interesting because you said it and I heard it a little bit differently, but it's like it's a process of discovery and a willingness and openness to just learn through that process, right? So today it might be I ate the sugar, the sugar monster came online, as you said, but I ate it. And so then tomorrow I recognize it as you did. And so then maybe the next time it happens, it's like, ooh, that thing is happening right now, right? So once a person starts to become aware of the pattern, let's say, and Sugar Monster comes online or whatever the thing is, they don't want to go to their workout, they don't want to get up early in the morning. Speaker #1 Sorry, I was going to say even mental habits, worry, negative thinking, like there can be these patterns that aren't even behavior related, but like inwardly related that we think, oh, that's just the way I am. That's not actually accurate. That's just a habit that we've reinforced. You were going to ask a question and I interrupted. Speaker #0 No, all good because that's powerful too. So when the person does start to become aware of these things, what's the next step? What is in that moment when she says, Oh, this is that thing Amber was talking about. I feel the sugar coming on. I'm feeling my feeling. It feels like coolness in my throat, whatever the feeling is, right? What's the next step that she can explore to begin kind of unraveling this or changing those habit pathways in her brain? Speaker #1 Yeah. So how I would answer it is... We all have this innate wisdom. We all have this innate health that is ours, right? It's like, how does a baby know to cry when they need something, right? It's just like, it's there. It's how does an acorn become an oak tree? How do the tides roll in and out? How do you, you know, it's like, so we all, there is this health, this innate health that lives within us. and One of the things that gets in the way of us really dropping into that wisdom, to that health is our minds. We spend so much time in our head, letting our brain, our minds call the shots. And so in that moment, right, there's an experience happening in real time in the present. Another way to say this is the mind is always in future or past. The body is always in the present. Our innate wisdom, access to our innate wisdom is also in the present. And so in that moment, when you drop into the body, there's like, it's, oh, there, here I am, I feel the urge. And then letting that curiosity, like what even is this urge? Where do I feel it in my body? If I were to describe it to someone and say, this is what my sugar monster feels like, right? There's a hotspot in my pinky toe. And like, we can really get that detailed. Speaker #0 What starts to happen as we drop in, and it sounds simpler as we talk about it than it is in
practice, because our nervous system believes there is a threat, and so it will respond as if there is like a bear chasing you. Speaker #1 Yep. Speaker #0 And so it's not so simple or easy. But I would say curiosity is everything and dropping into the present moment is everything because then that's, it's like, as we get present, that's when some of the 95% of the material that's been lurking that we haven't been aware of, we can start to become aware of it. We can start to see things. We can start to have an insight. And that is actually... You know, I wish I could be like, if you do that, this will happen. But this is where your own health, like your own wisdom starts to guide you towards your next steps. But we've all been programmed to trust our intellect over our intuition. And so this dropping into the body, getting present to meet the urge, it starts to feel less scary. And so then therefore there isn't a threat. And so if there is no threat, then you don't really need to take that behavior. Speaker #1 It's almost like instantaneous healing. Just simply coming into that present moment and feeling and being there could literally be the solution. Speaker #0 Yeah. Yeah. Well, and let me talk about that really quick too, because I think people can have a misunderstanding about what it means to feel a feeling. I think sometimes people feeling a feeling doesn't mean wallowing in a feeling. Feeling a feeling doesn't mean analyzing a feeling. Feeling a feeling, it's like you're just wanting to let the energy that wants to move, move in the way that it wants to move. The idea isn't stuckness, right? When the mind starts to get involved, it can intensify the feeling and then the intensity of the feeling can feed the mind and the mind feeds the feeling. That's not what we're going for. We're not going for like recycling. the feeling we're going for release. And so how we can do that is it's fine. Like the, because we're so drawn to thought and thought is all thoughts job is to analyze, right? The mind's job is to analyze, to interpret, to make story, to compare, to conclude. That's the mind's job. That is not helpful when we're feeling a feeling. So when you start to notice that coming online, you could just be like, thank you, mind, and then come back into the body. What's here now? My experience when we're really with the sensation, it changes because that's the nature of energy. Energy moves. Speaker #1 Let's say, because in my own experience of this, it took a few tries. I'm going to hold for one second, Amber. Yeah. Maura, you'll hear there's a motor running in the background. It'll be gone in a moment. Let's just give that moment. Okay. So Amber, I'm so curious. Let's say one of our listeners hears this and is on the couch tomorrow night or the weekend and the sugar monster comes online and she becomes aware of how she's feeling, acknowledging a feeling, what the feeling feels like. And for whatever reason, isn't able to shake that sugar monster and she goes for the M&Ms. Can you walk me through how compassion actually works and how, if that's one of the first steps after that moment where maybe she caves to the sugar monster and then feels bad about it, I found a lot of people really don't know how to... express compassion for themselves or even how to employ this concept of compassion. Could you walk us through that? Because I know from my own personal experience, it took me a few tries for like a few years to crack this nut. I mean, a lot of years, I would say, and I feel like I've cracked it. And so I want her to have some tools so that if she isn't able to conquer it the first time, which could happen, she knows what to do next. Speaker #0 Yeah. Well, I'm going to say one thing first, and then I'll start to give some more, like things that have, that have helped me along the way. And I'm always a little bit hesitant to, like, what has helped me? may or may not help others, right? That's like strategy realm versus you dropping in and listening to the wisdom that lives within you because compassion is actually our nature. It's who we are. It's like all the coping strategies. I usually say like we're either in love or peace, right? We're in that place of compassion and openness or we're in a coping strategy. That's it. Period. And so the first thing that I would offer is to remember that this pattern has been in place, like her system believes that this is what will help her stay alive. And all it means is the system did not perceive in the moment that she could handle those sensations. And so it wanted to help. I think that can be... just thinking of it like that, this is my system trying to take care
of me. And so then how I might respond to that is be like, I tend to write like our bodies, touch is one of the most healing modalities that exists on the planet, right? If you see someone, if you walk into a room and see your best friend crying, your natural urge or response is to want to hug them, to like put your hands on them. There's a reason for that. And so I tend to, I'm going to like, this is just me, right? I'm going to put my hand on my heart and I tend to just like rub it in little small circles. And then I talking to myself, like talking to my system, system, I know that that is the strategy that you've employed to try to help me, to try to keep me safe. And I just want you to know, I don't need that anymore. Like we're safe right now and I'm I'm moving in a different direction. I'm moving towards the feeling. And I want you to know that that might feel uncomfortable, but we're safe, right? There could be breath work involved. There could be meditation involved. But to me, it's if someone has children or nieces or nephews or pets even, right? Like I don't have children, but I have dogs. It's It's like if they were sleeping and you were gently just like so wrapped up in love, touching them, talking to them sweetly. We want to do that for ourselves, to ourselves, because this humaning game, look, it's not easy. And so offering that kind of sweetness, you know, and I know you've... people have probably heard this. I have in much of my life, you know, I'm looking for sweetness in my life and my system's trying to find it in actual sugar when it's like, can I just give myself a little more sugar inside? Speaker #1 I love that. If we're looking for sweetness, right? I mean, what a crazy, just like direct application of that. And that we go to the sugar. I love that. You mentioned... humaning. And I'm hoping you'll tell us about the school of humaning. Well, what is it? What do you do there? Tell us a little bit about that because I think it's so interesting. Speaker #0 Thank you. I mean, I would say it would be an extension of this conversation. So it's a six month program because to me, conditioning, right? Like the trenches that we have in our brains of behavior patterns that we have run deep. And so let's say someone has an insight and then they start to integrate it into regular life. What is an insight? An insight is something that was unconscious now becomes conscious and we start to live that way. I have a frog in my throat. And we start to integrate it. But conditioning is such that it wants to pull us back to what's familiar. right? That's the nature of the nervous system. So six months allows time for deepening of experimentation. And the experiment is really your life and you and better. Wow. I'm having a frog in my throat. Speaker #1 That's okay. Take it more. Do you have some water? You okay? I do. That's what happens when you talk for a long time. I've gotten very good at this. Speaker #0 You have. Speaker #1 It takes a while, but that's why I go on mute sometimes when you're talking as I'm drinking water, actually. It's okay. Yep. Speaker #0 So let's try this again. So it allows us this six-month time frame to explore your life. It's almost like your life becomes your spiritual practice, your awakening journey. And so it's better understanding the nature of thought, right? like thought It's just equipment. We know what a right hand is supposed to do. We know what a left foot is supposed to do. But when it comes to our minds, we believe it's who we are and we have to listen to it all the time, but that's not accurate. All minds behave the same way. They just have different focus depending on our upbringing, feelings, right? We explore those. Nervous system, really learning more about the language of the body because it doesn't communicate in words. It communicates in sensations. And most of us have no idea what a sensation is even in our bodies. So it's dropping into that so we can be present. And yeah, so the school itself, I'm based in Los Angeles. And I think that coming together in person, when we're learning that there's just so much that we feed on with one another in person. So there are three in-person weekends, class weekends. There are three weekends on Zoom. There are weekly office hours, but the idea is freedom, liberation. The idea is expanding your capacity to meet whatever experience is here. The idea is letting go of the improvement game so that you can feel the enoughness that's already here. I mean, for so long, I've been trying to improve and The mind will tell you, if you just hit this mark, you'll reach the promised land. And then you hit that mark, and
then there's just another goal set out in front of you. And that keeps pulling us from the aliveness, the beauty, the clarity, the inspiration, the enoughness that's here in this moment right now. And so we're going to be looking at coping strategies. We're going to be exploring fear and how it shows up. We're going to be exploring love and what that looks like to live from that place of love for ourselves, for others, for our lives. So yeah, I think that part of what we've done in our innocence as humans is we've really bought into you We've, we've, we've strengthened the intellect and let intuition atrophy, but that intelligence that I talked about, that's baked into, it's like, how do birds know when to migrate? How does a caterpillar become a butterfly, right? There is this intelligence that exists in us. And what would happen if we started to strengthen that and let the intellect start to atrophy a little, we still need it. I'm not saying it's going to go away. But this is the dance, right? So that's going to look at coping strategies. That's going to look at urges because that's going to look at clearing the conditioning that we've bought on as true that actually isn't so that we can live more free. Speaker #1 When is the next session of the school? Speaker #0 Yeah. So it starts January 16th and it runs until June, I think June 14th or 15th of 2026. It's a very small cohort because like this subject matter, A, it doesn't resonate with everyone. I feel like there's a call in someone's heart. There's a deepening for more. And I will say if anyone that's listening, if that is you and you're really loving this conversation, you can reach out to me. We can schedule a conversation. The school may or may not be a fit, but I'm about helping humans wake up to who they are beyond their conditioning so that We can be more free in the moment and more authentic in the moment. And that might look like sharing your voice more in the world. That might look like taking on a project that previously scared you in the past. Like there's so many ways, there's so many outlets. Because then I like to say we're in like receiver mode rather than achiever mode. And then it's like once we receive how life wants to use us, Then it's like we just start to follow those breadcrumbs and put it out into the world. Speaker #1 I love that. How can people get in touch with you? Speaker #0 Yes. My email is probably the best. It's hello at amberchris.com. And my last name looks crazies. So it's Amber, K-R-Z as in zebra, Y-S as in Sam.com. Speaker #1 I'll be sure to link that in the show notes or wherever you're listening to this podcast. I love it. I think this is such an important conversation and something you and I share. And I know that this is such a wonderful seed for people to plant in such a huge way to improve your life. And so thank you for doing what you do and sharing this. I have one last thing to say. Yeah. Speaker #0 Perfect. I was going to say, there is nothing wrong with you, right? Urges don't mean there's something wrong with you. In fact, they mean there's something right with you because that is your system trying to take care of you, right? It's like that, I'm going to go back to that health analogy, the sickness analogy. If we ignore a sore throat, there's going to be an increase of symptoms that, right? Like an intensity that occurs because our system needs something from us, right? It's giving us. feedback for what we need. Urges are like that. They're like feedback, but we've been trained to run away from them, or we've been trained to try to let the intellect handle them or try to respond to them through management with behavior. And it's like, if that were effective, you wouldn't have the urge anymore. So the real opportunity is to turn towards it. Speaker #1 Oh, I love that. What a powerful thought, huh? Speaker #0 Yeah. Speaker #1 I love it. Amber, thank you so much for being here. Speaker #0 Yes, thank you so much, Holly.